In his book Talking To Your Child About God (1994), psychologist David Heller discusses how we can help our children make or strengthen their own personal connection with God. He gives us some ideas on what we could say when our children ask us about God. Here is some advice:

1. Let kids be kids. "If we start with the idea that [children] have some kind of spirituality when they're born, then what we need to do is figure out how it is growing in them, what God is doing in them—not how we can stuff them with God," says Fitzpatrick. One way for them to get in touch with the spirit within is simply through imagination and play. Dressing up, pretending, dreaming—all these things, says Fitzpatrick, put a child in touch with his or her inner life. The more comfortable he or she is with that force within, the easier it will be to commune with God.


2. Have your child share his or her belief system with you. Parents don't have a monopoly on how to view God and life; we just think we do. Help your child explore his or her own views and feelings by having the child draw a picture of God or write a letter to the Creator. Discuss it with the child. Also, encourage the older child to learn about different religions; this allows him or her to reexamine what he or she truly believes.


3. Talk about what God does instead of what God is. Saying that God is a spirit or God is love can be confusing for a young child; focus instead on what God has created—a rainbow, a sunset, a baby. This establishes a link in the child's mind between God and nature, and ultimately between God and the child.


4. Rediscover nature. Parents should encourage their children to walk through the park, play in the snow, watch a river run and do other things that put them in touch with nature. "All these things draw the child closer to the earth, which is one way of thinking about spirituality," says Fitzpatrick. "It's helping children connect what's inside them with what's all around them."
5. Practice what you preach. For example, if you want your child to pray, let him or her see you praying; if you want him or her to share, let the child see you sharing. The old expression "Do as I say, not as I do" is passé, especially when it comes to raising compassionate, loving children.


6. Make prayer meaningful. Many children may bless their food and pray before bedtime, but do they actually get anything out of it? "We teach them a bunch of memorized prayers," says Fitzpatrick. "But in a way we don't realize that prayer is something that comes out of their hearts, not something you stuff down their throats." The phrase "heartfelt prayer" means something: Encourage your child to pray in his or her own way—you may be surprised by what you hear.


7. Consider reuniting with the church "family." Some of us, who grew up in but moved away from the church, cite pettiness and hypocrisy as reasons for leaving. This, however, overlooks the positive things that our children may derive from being active in church. "Ideally, Sunday schools can give children the feeling that they are loved, they are wanted, they are cared for."