Some Approaches For Getting Unstuck…
(This is an excerpt from a University Of Metaphysical Sciences course at www.umsonline.org, please feel free to visit the school website)
In Getting
Unstuck (2002), Dr. Brown reiterates a key
point: that we should begin with admitting that solutions exist. Brown presents
that we should consciously claim that solutions are knowable, useful, feasible,
and can work for everyone, if we can shift the focus from Winning to Solving.
How often are we stuck in a problem because we’re trying to “win,”
whether with an employee, a spouse, a child or some distant memory? The
bottom line is that we need to get unstuck, get a new perspective. How we
do that, according to Brown, is to adhere to the following discipline:
1. Time Shifting. Remember where you are, here and now, and recognize any
irrational emotional reaction that is surfacing as not part of the present
problem, merely part of your thinking about the present situation.
2. Patterns. Remember where you’ve been, and learn to look at patterns
of behavior and patterns of consequences to establish for yourself, any
self-knowledge of land-mines, pitfalls and or shortcomings in dealing with
particular situations or personalities.
3. Self Awareness. See yourself in these situations and objectively watch
your own patterns of thinking and behavior from a distance.
4. Building Blocks. Find and use the right materials. Look around you for
the materials you have to solve the problem. It may be personnel, it may
be time, it may be structural, organizational or whatever. In your mental
picture actually “see” what you have around you. If, for instance,
it is a confrontation with a colleague and you mentally see the clock on
the wall in an office, does it remind you that you should take time out
to collect yourself? Or that the important project that you are arguing
about has plenty of time to resolve itself, or that you have plenty of time
to work out a viable compromise? Find the right materials to help yourself.
5. Goals. Have a direction; know what you want. Make sure you’re not
confusing a smaller “task” with a larger life goal.
6. Get A Toolbox. Determine the dozen crucial skills that allow you to see
the big picture clearly. Remind yourself of them. Use them frequently until
they are consciously and quickly at your disposal when you are confronted
with an activity or a situation that requires creative thinking and problem
solving to “unstick” your reactive behavior and unsatisfying
life results.
7. Interactions. Know that the only behavior you can control is your own.
You cannot control anyone else’s thinking nor anyone else’s
behavior.
Also, Dr. Brown brings up, as do many authors, that you’ve got to
be able to “Ask The Question,” not get lost in the problem.
For example, a couple may find themselves in the middle of a discussion
about one or the other’s dysfunctional family and where to spend the
holidays, when then evolves into an argument about getting a divorce when
the original question might have been, “Is home-school going to be
better for the kids?”
Asking a question focuses inquiry and mental activity, it prevents us from
squandering time and energy on the wrong things. Being able to ask the question
means being able to leave the past behind. It focuses on the present and
on action. Living in the moment is no new philosophy or revelation, but
it is required in order for inspiration and creativity to manifest.
Otherwise imagination in the form of fantasy is regaling you either in the
past or in the future.
There is also a particular significance and ease (for most) in being able
to discern Patterns in situations, behaviors and thus, thinking. An animal
(lab rat) will explore endlessly through a maze until he finds the food/prize.
Thereafter, the animal only wants to take the easiest, shortest path to
the same destination. This is not a good basis for thinking creatively,
but it seems to be a base nature common to everyone and everything. The
fact is that no two problems are ever exactly the same. The exploration
through the maze still works in every case, but blindly following a path
almost never works successfully and truly never works for creative growth.
If a real problem keeps presenting itself, try to find what’s behind
your patterns. Watch out for words in your thinking like always, never,
everyone, etc. If you don’t have the practice or experience in thinking
it through, work with a pencil and paper to watch the kind of words and
sequence your thinking takes. If what you’re doing or have been doing
isn’t working, stop and try something new. The unconscious pattern
itself might be the problem.