In this exercise you can examine which thought feels better. Think of a situation that causes you to have negative feelings. For instance, you might think of your partner and how he or she neglects to do anything romantic without prompting from you. Perhaps you would like a rose once in awhile, a card, or perhaps even a little trinket. You may have asked your partner several times already to do something romantic occasionally. Now you may have reached a frustration point. On a piece of paper write down your thoughts and feelings about the situation. You may find all sorts of dialogue connected with this issue. In fact, you may find feelings that are triggered by the situation, but far outweigh a rational response to the issue. For instance, you may find yourself writing statements that have nothing to do with the situation at hand, and have everything to do with childhood issues:

As you ponder each of your statements, label them as to which feels good versus not good on a scale of 1 to 10. 10 would be the worst feeling, and 1 would be the better feeling. Ask yourself which of these thoughts feels better, and eliminate the others.

I need more romance in my life. (6)
My partner doesn't really care about me. (10)
My partner is going to leave me. (10)
My partner doesn't really love me. (10)
My partner is deliberately trying to make me feel unloved. (10)
It is important to me to feel loved. (3)
I wish I had a romantic partner. (9)
He/she should understand why it is important to express love. (3)
Maybe I should get a different partner. (8)
My partner doesn't understand me or my needs. (4)
Maybe I should explain my needs in different ways. (1)
Maybe I should lead the way, and start giving romantic gestures without reciprocation for awhile. (1)
Maybe my partner is seeing other women/man, and this is where the romantic energy goes. (10)
My partner never listens to me. (7)
My partner is unromantic, and should change. (6)
I am envious of so-and-so who has a great romantic partner. (6)
Etc.