(This is an excerpt from a University Of Metaphysical Sciences course at www.umsonline.org, please feel free to visit the school website)
In creating meaningful relationships you have to look at what are you vibrating by how you are feeling. If you are feeling anything other than peace with yourself and appreciation of your partner, then your vibrations will be chipping away at your union. You are attracting negatively if you are disapproving, accusing or blaming. If you feel misunderstood, neglected or trapped you are attracting more of the same. If you try to rescue, please or placate you are also attracting negatively. When you focus on what is not working in your relationship you are holding the partner in that vibration. The energy of blame is the culprit and always makes a bad situation worse.
Unconditional love is keeping open no matter what the other person has done. All you have to do is stop focusing on it. You don’t have to like it or change it. It is a freeing feeling when you can begin to experience life despite the actions of others. You no longer have a need to blame others for the way you feel. You no longer need others to behave in a certain way in order to be happy. You realize that you don’t need everything to be perfect for your love to flow. Forgiveness is a releasing of your resistance to positive energy, it is not about the other person. The first step in forgiving is releasing the resistance to feeling better.
When you are concerned about someone else and feel sorry for his or her predicament you join in the lack he or she feels. You have matched the vibration and that holds other people there. The following story is an example of this concept. A woman was worried about her depressed father and was sending him healing thoughts. In her own sadness about him she was seeing him in a pathetic way. He did not improve but continued to decline. She learned that she was doing the opposite of her intention when she learned about the law of attraction. She began to visualize him filled with vitality and fun, playing sports. She melted into the joy of the feeling of wholeness.
The miracle part of the story is that her father called her three days later telling her he felt better than he had in years! She had offered the new vibration and he chose to accept it. Look for ways to praise and appreciate and you will be a catalyst for attracting for yourself and everyone around you. The vibration comes from how you are feeling. You are a creator. If you see people letting you down, you will vibrate to that reality where it happens. This doesn’t mean that others will act the way you want them to, but by holding the picture of their higher self you invite the possibility to them as to how they might act if they expressed their potential.
You can empower your friends by taking opportunities to draw their higher vision out of them and helping them describe it and encouraging them to create it. A beautiful way to relate to others is by connecting to your higher self and their higher self and ask for a greater good to come to both of you. See the other person’s divinity and allow him or her to be just as he or she is. Speak and act in ways that empower the other person. You can empower others by helping them to see the gifts in what they are experiencing by getting them to focus on all the gifts that their problems are offering.
It’s basic human intelligence that in order to make love work, you need to be in a healthy relationship, in all ways. These days, dating is made harder and harder by partners who are verbally abusive, uneducated people who think they can give relationship management or relationship advice and sometimes even long distance relationships. Any man woman or child can tell you that both partners need to be willing to work hard at a relationship to make it work, to keep the health in a stress-free state. There are many things online that propose to be able to help with relationships: you can take a quiz to see if you and your mate are compatible, you can write “Ask Joan” to help with a problem that you and your mate are having. There are even tips on how to rescue a failing relationship. But without the motivation on both ends to make it work, it never will.