Intimate Relationships & Karma
(This is an excerpt from a University Of Metaphysical Sciences course at www.umsonline.org, please feel free to visit the school website)
It would not be possible to view the art of intimate relationships in a metaphysical context without acknowledging that we come together in all kinds of relationships, including intimate partnerships, with karmic soul companions from other lives. In this regard, a rich tapestry of possibilities for growth follows us. The dynamics of our past relationships with one another can dictate much of the emotional climate in which we find ourselves. In any case, there is always the invitation to bring our issues to conscious awareness, whether they are from this life or another. Our main purpose, regardless of how long it takes, is to bring healing to our lives. Intimate relationships can be the fast track toward that end.
In this respect, since we always attract to us what we most need to learn, the people in our lives become our teachers and relationships may come and go based on where we are in our spiritual learning. Intimate partnerships may break up, only to have similar partners appear in order to bring up the same unresolved issues. As we dedicate ourselves to higher awareness and our evolution, we may journey together with another or find a partner who matches our new vibration. It is also possible that a soul mate with whom we have journeyed is not presently incarnated. It might be destined that we will travel alone in this dimension, having contact with our mates through dreams and altered states until we meet up with them at another time/place.
The opportunities in life to learn self-compassion and how to give unconditional love are endless, but relationship break-ups can bring great sorrow over the loss of partners. There is much that can be written about grieving, then picking ourselves up and moving forward; the lessons can be hard at these times of emotional fragility. Ultimately, we can only look to higher knowledge to help guide us. In the words of Bob Mandel, author of Heart Over Heels (1989) “You can never lose what suits your higher purpose. If someone leaves you, it is to make room for someone better. Or if he/she is that someone better, he/she will return at the appropriate, even appointed time… you can never leave what you have chosen to be with forever.” Suggested affirmations to help us with this emotional turmoil can include the following:
- Our love is not limited to time and space
- Our individual quests support our life purpose
- Whatever belongs with me comes to me
- I am safe enough to release my fear of loss
- Since we are inseparable, we can be apart
Dr. Michael Newton is a hypnotherapist who specializes in exploring and writing about the nature of the soul between lives, prior to incarnating. He has had many clients report after-death experiences under hypnosis which corroborate with each other in various and interesting ways. The data presented by one person who died in a previous life and left behind a partner is relevant to our topic in a revealing manner.
Apparently, a man was reaching out in his discarnate state to comfort his wife right after his death, but stated that he did so as a friend and as a partner. He indicated that she was not his intimate soul mate, nor was he hers, but they had a great deal of respect for each other. They needed this relationship to work on those things which addressed their individual weaknesses and strengths. However, he said that their life contract was done, and he was hoping for her to link up with someone else if she so desired. To that effect, Dr. Newton concludes in his book Destiny Of Souls (2002), “I find most people know if the person they live with is not a significant soulmate. This does not mean they can’t have good relationships [with such a soul].”
In the case of being left behind by someone who does happen to be a very significant soul mate, Dr. Newton says that survivors must trust that the departed soul is still with them. In order to complete the life contract that was made in advance, it is necessary to continue on with the rest of humanity, knowing they will meet again soon enough. In Dr. Newton’s hypnosis sessions, many people have described the nature of the intimate soul groups to which they belong, and their human interactions with either members of these groups or other affiliated soul groups. Indeed, the information to be found in the books he has written, Journey Of Souls (1994) and Destiny Of Souls (2002) is quite detailed and fascinating regarding earthly cycles of experience.
To conclude this paper, it should be reiterated how rewarding it is to consciously undertake intimate relationships. The challenges are many, but they can be surmounted if the focus is right and we are aware of the pitfalls. There are many tools for growth in intimate partnership, if we seek them out and use them to our advantage. In his book A Journey Of The Heart (1989), John Welwood writes poetically about the art of intimacy with the following words: “Exploring love’s potential is uncharted territory, versus making a relationship match some fixed image in our mind… This works against the chance to develop our deepest resources, which in turn grow out of our responses to the real challenges along the way.”