Enlightening intentions should be in the form of “I am willing...” statements. Being willing for a change to occur moves us from a focus of effort to a wider perspective. As Gay and Kathlyn Hendricks declare in their book Centering And The Art Of Intimacy (1985), “Willingness allows us to stand free of the limitations of the mind so that a deeper creativity can emerge.” It is important to set intentions that both help us in our own evolution and contribute to the growth of the relationship. The act of setting new intentions will demand the insight and courage to envision and create an entirely new framework, in opposition to strong pressures from the past. Whether this envisioning succeeds or not, there will be clarity regarding what we really want. Examples of enlightened intentions can be seen in the following statements:

1. “We are willing to invest our relationship with the purpose of giving and receiving the largest amount of positive energy possible.”

1. “We are willing to allow ourselves time away and private space in order to nurture ourselves and the relationship as often as we need to.”

1. “We are willing to move through all issues that are in the way of our full growth potential and ability to be close.”

1. “We are willing to be totally independent and totally close.”

1. “We are willing to allow each other full growth potential and empowerment for the strengthening of the relationship.”

Being willing to talk openly and honestly about these intentions and keep our agreements helps this process to be effective, especially if we set aside time for this process.