Self-Love
(This is an excerpt from a University Of Metaphysical Sciences course at www.umsonline.org, please feel free to visit the school website)
“You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.”—The Buddha
The search for unconditional love, like any search for truth, begins within. To give to ourselves the love that our souls long for is to recognize our divine nature. It is to embrace ourselves as the beloved that we have searched for in so many other ways. Since the heart chakra can hold the other six chakras in a harmonious balance, self-love can become an act of embracing both the transcendent nature of the upper chakras and the grounding nature of the lower chakras into the body and personality. Anodea Judith says in Eastern Body Western Mind “Like the green, growing plants which push toward the heavens from their roots in the earth, we, too, reach outward in two directions―anchoring the manifesting current deep in our bodies and expanding the liberation current as we reach beyond ourselves. In the heart chakra, these currents come to perfect balance in the center of our being. From that sacred center―the heart of the system―we enter the mystery of love.” (234) If we want to live in balance between these two movements of divine energy, we can practice self-love by coming into a loving relationship with our personality, body, and soul.
A Grounded Love
Beginning the process of loving our minds, emotions, and bodies can start with a deep affirmation that we are worthy of love. This in itself may be challenging to do because we have been filled with many experiences of what we think we should be, which almost always differs from the way we feel in each moment. If it is difficult to feel that you are worthy of love, it can be helpful to remember pictures of yourself as a baby, taking in your innocence and goodness. You can also imagine a loving being, such as an angel, Jesus, Buddha, or Mother Mary, showering you with the love that they feel toward you regardless of what you say or do. The affirmation of your worthiness for love opens your third chakra, allowing the current of energy from your heart to move down into a grounded reality of love.
As with other healing that focuses on our wholeness, coming more into the present moment is very beneficial in that we allow ourselves to open to our experiences. We can then recognize the moments that our love for ourselves flows and those during which this love is blocked. Each time our heart chakra opens in love, the memory of love becomes imprinted into our bodies, as our cells absorb this divine creative energy. It becomes easier to recognize the feelings of the heart chakra being opened. At the same time, the moments when we stop loving ourselves provide valuable lessons for healing as well. By continuing to be present to each moment, we can ask ourselves what we are feeling and why? We can then work through the block when it happens, instead of continuing on with our days while feeling resentment, fear, lack of self-worth, or any other feeling that arises from the situation.
We all have the ability to understand the energies that make up our continual experiences of life. As we have briefly explored, we can step into this ability through coming into the present moment and beginning to recognize the way energies feel for us. In feeling the energy in our bodies by asking ourselves how we feel throughout the day, we come into opening our second chakras and more fully experiencing our aliveness. We can feel an over-flowing love for ourselves that makes us excited about life. The experience of feeling love toward ourselves can move us to let go of the previous ways we may have seen ourselves to be at fault. We may have thought our bodies were ugly at one point, but as we cultivate love, we can look at ourselves in new ways and see the beauty that is true for each one of us.
Each step that we take along the path of grounding our love for ourselves can bring up any areas in our lives that are calling out to be loved. This includes feelings about ourselves in certain situations, both past, present, and future. A key part of this process is forgiveness. In A Single Blade Of Grass (2002), Ellen Grace O’Brian tells us, “Love is the mighty ocean of God’s presence. Forgiveness is the river leading to that ocean.” (58) Forgiveness involves looking at the reasons why a hurtful situation occurs. Forgiveness and acceptance go hand in hand. As we forgive ourselves and others for any painful situations in the past, we come into a deeper acceptance of our lives and ourselves. We can then become more deeply rooted in the present because we are no longer subtly running from the pain of the past. For further exploration of forgiveness, refer to the UMS course Forgiveness.
We can also set intentions to come into loving ourselves more fully. In
You Can Heal Your Life (1984), Louis Hay encourages us to intend
to let go of the need to not love ourselves. We may be used to telling a
story to ourselves of being unworthy or of being a victim. We all have coping
mechanisms that began at a very young age and worked well for us then. Even
though these mechanisms no longer serve us, we often identify with them.
When we set the intention to let go of the need to hold onto these old ways
of being and feel this intention whole heartedly, the universe can help
us to bring this about. We do not need to know exactly how it will occur;
as long as we are willing and focus ourselves on our intentions, healing
will occur in ways that may be beyond our minds’ ability to know at
the time.